Someone once told me that things don't always work out like you plan. Being a complete organizer, perfectionist, and planner I laughed it off thinking "Maybe for some people, but you don't know me..." Huh. It kinda makes me chuckle to think of that now. See - God gave me a talent and a love of well-organized, thought-out things. That doesn't mean I can't be around disorganization - it means that my natural reaction is to clean it up, make it better. It's a great gift - it drives me to do my best. I didn't realize that this person was so right in a way I didn't even realize.
I've known since I was young that I didn't really want to be good in any one area (like a specialist), but rather I wanted to be very well-rounded - a "jane-of-all-trades," if you will. I wanted to go to an out-of-state four-year-college. Tada! I did! One more thing I was right in. I wanted to meet and room with the person who would be my best friend for the rest of my life. Enter Jess. We started e-mailing back and forth. Everything was perfect. We got to school and loved hanging out. But as we got to know each other we realized how completely different we were. The unthinkable thought entered my head - as great of friends as we are - I wasn't going to be able to have the same roommate all four years. I was horrified! My plan hadn't happened? What a new experience! What an unfathomable revelation. I couldn't believe I was letting myself think of going against my plans!
Jess is, to this day, one of my best friends - we just won't be rooming together anymore. My mentor, Alicia, told me that - "God brings people in and out of our lives our whole life." She said the constant changes in our lives are to remind us that there is only One constant. Because of that we should appreciate Him that much more. She's right. It may not be the idea we had in mind, but if we will just bear with Him - just trust Him - His plan is so much better than any plan we've worked through with our minds. We may not see it now - but that's ok - He doesn't ask us to see it - He asks us to trust Him. I can't control everything and not everything's going to go according to my plans... but you know what - I'm learning to be ok with that.
