Learning to Receive

Are you one of those "gift" people? You love to give gifts - and in polite honesty, you like receiving them too? Haha. I'm not. Well - not so much anyway. One of the hardest things for me to do is to "indebt" myself to someone. Which at times, is basically what I view a gift as. Unfortunately, this mindset also transferred into my view of God sometimes. I didn't think I deserved such blessing. So even though He wanted to bless me, I would stubbornly refuse to accept it thinking that I didn't deserve it, I couldn't pay Him back, or I would mess it up somehow. I thought if I resisted long enough God would get the picture and leave me alone realizing that I really wasn't worth it.
In Malachi 3:8-10 God is talking to His people about how they have been robbing Him of the financial tithes due Him. In my case, the"tithe" that I have been withholding is myself. For some silly reason, I thought that I knew better than God. "I know what I'm really like..." But I forgot something. Kinda the most important something ever. That's not what He sees. He sees the fact that His Son shed His blood for me. He sees the fact that I've been washed in that blood and now stand with no accusation against me. Why do we hold onto what God has forgiven - and even more - forgotten? Psalm 103:8-14 says: "The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust." Do you see that? God remembers exactly who we are. We are dust. So who are we to tell God "better?" Who am I to tell God what He can and can't give me? I love this verse and have carried it in my book bag ever since I found it: Ezekiel 18:25 "Yet you say. 'The way of the Lord is not right.' Hear now, O house of Israel! Is My way not right? Is it not your ways that are not right?"
Haha. I laugh, but it's more of a sad chuckle when I realize how much it hurts God for me to fight Him so. I've fought, I've kicked, I've screamed - and I've ended up where God would have me anyway. :) Praise God that He doesn't obey our sad, confused little human minds. Praise God that He knows better. Praise God that He knows what we need more than we ourselves do. Don't hold yourself back from God. Let Him shower you with blessings. It's only natural for your Heavenly Father to want to bless you! ("Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" - Mt 7:9-11) God want to bless his children. Going back to Malachi, think about this. God says if you give Him whatever it is you're holding back, "see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it." It's a lot more enjoyable that way. And yes - lol - you're gonna end up there anyway. ;)
I'm still learning - but hopefully - I'll be able to remember too.
James 1:17 "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

Moments I live for...

Hmmm. Hi! :)

I know that sounds like kinda a weird way to start out a post, but bear with me. You know those moments you live for? Those literal moments of perfect content and peace. Where nothing's necessarily right - but nothing's wrong. The peace and refreshment that engulfs you - the calm before the storm, if you will... Isn't that one of the most stunning times ever? Right before the storm? Everything's perfect - the smell of the future torrent is in the air, but for now - it's not here.
Not yet.
And you embrace the smell.
To me it smells like rain.
For the longest time I had no idea what people meant when they would talk about being able to "smell rain." Until maybe 2 years ago, I thought they were just crazy or I just "didn't have it." No matter. I can smell it now. And I love it. The past few days have been gorgeous. Absolutely impossible to ruin! (Trust me - I've had the flu and I loved them that much!) God is awesome!

I'm not one of those people who stops. Like - really. I've found that the only time I physically cannot multitask is when I am soaking up the sun on the roof of New Women's...kinda. It's too bright to read, but unfortunately, my cell still gets reception. Anywho... point being - God is awesome, yes. But He's awesome specifically in that He gave me the flu. Hehe. I know, I know! I sound crazy! But having the flu forced me to stop. I even tried multitasking! But He knocked me out. I slept for two days together! It was wonderful because I have been running myself into the ground being busy and it's only about to get busier! (If that's even possible!) But God, in His loving wisdom and providence - forced me to recharge before I head back into the thick of it. Over the past few days, I wish I could say that I've dug deeply into my bible study, but I haven't. Instead, I simply basked in knowing my loving Father was there. Holding me. I was reminded of who I was. His Princess. It's really refreshing to take some time and remember who you are. To go out and meet your maker. To walk in His cool, quiet garden. Those are the moments I live for. No matter how crazy life gets, may we not forget who's we are. I'm so thankful that my Lord pulled me aside and reminded me who's I was! Do you need some time to step aside and remember?

So - that's what I've been up to! :D