This New Life

Something amazing has happened! Something so wonderful I really can't use words to express it. Over these past few weeks - and really even months, I have learned so much. Though often times the lessons were painful they have changed me in a way I wouldn't give up for the world. I haven't been the only one who thought so either, thankfully. :) I've had several people look at me and say "Meagan, something's different..." I'm so glad to know that it is a visible change! I've been gentler, more patient, and even HAPPY! It's wonderful! I'm taking time to just enjoy life and I'm loving it! Haha!
But no change comes without reason. Unfortunately a change for the better means that there is a change FROM the worse. (And while not all changes are for the better if they ARE they're changing from the worse.) Every person has a history as every story has a background. And many aren't proud of their pasts. Despite that, they simultaneously try to hold on to that past. This is the place I was stuck at. I knew that I was forgiven and tried living my life accordingly but for some reason couldn't manage to get myself out of my past and move on. Because of this I've always been wary of anytime I WAS happy because I knew it was only temporary as my guilt and depression would come back after the moment was over. I was so resigned to this fact that I got to the point were I didn't even try to fight it anymore.
When I first noticed this change about three weeks ago I was hesitant at first. But my joy didn't leave and after about the first week and a half I began accepting it - hoping it would last. I began to get use it it - even embracing and desiring it. Another week and a half past and I headed home for the Labor Day weekend when I started realizing that it had been three weeks and started wondering when something was going to give.
I was in church this morning when I realized several things that made me glow with praise to my heavenly Father. I realized that probably one of the greatest contributing factors to this (aside from all the lessons I've learned recently and tried to maintain and apply) was that I had prayed to God to give me a new heart acknowledging that while I knew I was forgiven, I still felt a if I had the same old heart. Second, I had a face to face with Satan. It was as if, in the middle of church, Satan had walked right up to me and said: "I'm sorry, but you need to come back with me. You know everything you've done. You know you're not fit to be here. Just come with me know and there won't be a fuss." And it dawned on me. For the first time - I remembered my request for a new heart and it fell into place. I claimed my association with Christ telling Satan that Christ had "pulled my out of the miry clay and set my feet upon a rock." I told Satan "I am a new person with a new heart. You no longer have any sway over me. I have a past, but it's not who I am anymore - I'm different - completely different - I'm new. I don't have to go back with you and I don't want to! I have nothing to say to you. If you want me to go back with you - you're going to have to talk to HIM *pointing in Christ's direction* - not me!" Christ walked up behind me at the invitation gently placing His arm protectively around my waist. Satan looked at us. With a twinge of frustration and defeat evident on his face he turned and walked away - silent. I was stuck with the realization that for so long, I had chosen to staying my muck and mire - only God know why! Then again, HE probably didn't even get it - He just waited - patiently, gently wooing me despite my determination to stop my ears to him.
I've decided that "Safe" by Britt Nicole is Jesus' and my song. :)



I use to think that I couldn't have a testimony because I never had the chance to do anything really that bad... I knew I was forgiven, but I didn't know how to go beyond that. I held myself to the mire of my past. But now - now I see that Christ is not only my Lord, but He truly is my Savior as well. He "set my feet upon the rock, and now I know, I love Him, I need Him. Though my world may fall, I'll never let Him go. He's my Savior and my closest friend. I will worship Him until the very end."



I realized over these past few months and am just now able to put it into words: I've spent my whole life chasing dreams that were suppose to give me joy, but they kept escaping me. Now I've come to a place where I've handed over my dreams to God and found a joy I can't escape. Cliche'? Maybe. But does it make it less true if it's said with belief and meaning? Because I'm living proof that the above "cliche'" is true.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow. To Him be the glory, and honor, and praise forevermore. Amen.