Sometimes life comes at you all at once. Welcome to humanity. What makes or breaks this experience - at least in my present situation - is focus.
I was at a mentor's house playing Mario Kart Wii with her oldest daughter. One of the "ammo" things you can use against another player is an ink dude. This ink dude splats ink all over the screen so you can only see a few spaces of track. The ink always covers your direct line of vision. Basically put - you can't see where you're going. You can't see straight ahead. You can't see where you are. After getting this version of ammunition used against me several times I noticed something. If I would stop worrying about what the ink covered up, and instead focus on what I could see, I could navigate almost as easily as if the ink weren't there based on my surroundings and distant vision. (Ok - not my standard of vocabulary -I'm sick and headed to bed, but I wanted to post this lest I forget.) Fast forward to this morning in church. We were talking about humility and having your own plans for your life. "Is God opposed to me because of me? Am I too pleased, too happy, too content, too enamored with myself?" Twisted, this became a challenge for me. Was I too busy with my own agenda that I missed the big picture in the first place?
Refocusing:
Everything that has been going on in my life since the beginning Christmas break seems to boil down to this one minute. This one recollection. This one settlement. I've been going haywire. But why? It's because I got distracted. My focus was off. I was working my agenda. I wanted to be there for so-and-so. I wanted to be a role model. I wanted to be needed. I wanted to be wanted. Looking back, is it something I prayed about? Yes. Is it something God will use no matter how it started? Yes. Did I do anything bad (other than waste time)? No. But now that my focus is back I see that He gave me headliners that I didn't need to be worrying about certain things. But I was determined. I wanted to settle things when I never needed to settle them. "No" was "no." Why didn't I leave it there? Does it matter if I do or don't want it if I've obviously been told "no"? Now, with my focus once again where it should be, I see - no. No, it doesn't matter what I think. I didn't know what to think because I didn't need to. "No" was clear and unwavering. My opinion doesn't matter. And you know what? I'm ok with that.
So - thank you, Mario and mythical ink dude for helping me get my focus straight. It's nice to be back. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment