Beautiful Season

Ok - I absolutely LOVE the Christmas season! Everything about it makes me glow with happiness. The lights, the smells, the weather, the people, the colors, the hustle. The hustle...hmm. I think what I love most about the hustle is finding peace within it. I love to sit and watch the hustle. I use to be dragged down by it. Getting lost in the confusion and pushed around by the bustle. But not recently. In the past few years I have learned to slow down and watch the hustle. Find the beauty in it while not being distracted by it. To be slightly cliche' I took "Jesus is the reason for the season" to heart because I've learned that even that can catch you up so you forget. You have to think about it and truly believe it for it to change anything. What I find beautiful about watching hustle is looking at it and being filled with peace knowing that there's so much more. I rest in that fact - knowing that my Father in Heaven has so much more for me. That's why I can look at these people going crazy (and sometimes crazy people) ;) and wait a little longer, smile a little more, and enjoy a lot fuller. See, I've come to realize love - love is the center of this season. "God so loved the world" - that's why we have this celebration. If God hadn't loved he wouldn't have sent His son and we wouldn't have this beautiful, peaceful season. Love. And as we realize this reality - we can share it and make this time of year that much more beautiful. Shine God's love and embrace the little joys of life. Merry Christmas!

Long Break and Lessons Learned

It's been forever. (No - duh!) And tons has happened. Thinking over the summer and this past semester - I have grown so much. The image that comes to my mind is that of a bird. Just learning how to fly it is push out of its nest unable to resist the force launching it forward. Then - it begins, the rushing downward spiral. Everything goes crazy - control is a joke and survival becomes the goal. Survival - now instinct kicks in - wobbly wings spread and are quickly forced back as these virgin wings are no match for gravity's pull. The death fall continues - speeding up (if possible). Something resigns, but then reality hits. I'm not going to let this defeat me! I'm going to fight! I'm going to fight until I hit the concrete! Wings once again fight to cut the vicious wind and are somewhat stronger this time. The decent slows for a second. The bird looks around - she's not alone - she has a teacher. Attempting to follow instruction to the best of her ability, the little bird - with time and experience, gets the general hang of this flying thing. Suddenly the world is so much bigger than the nest.
Funny, isn't it? Five months summed up in something as simple as a bird learning to fly. And I see it again. Looking back - God's hand in the simple things. I have learned so many lessons in those 5 months I'm not even going to try to recount them. But one of the biggest things I've learned - He uses the little things. Things I can't see - don't understand - the tiny details - to make the result beautiful. God - MY God - uses all of it - every single thing - to His glory. Every second thought, every heartbreaking realization, every double-me-over laugh. The little things, the simple things, the every day life things. And that, to me, is what makes this life worth living. Knowing that it's in my God's hands.

Be Glorified In Me

It’s a pretty well known song that we sing… most of us don’t even need the screen to remind us of the words, but just in case you do:

Your love has captured me
Your grace has set me free
Your life the air I breathe
Be glorified in me (2x)
You set my feet to dancing
You set my heart on fire
In the presence of a thousand kings
You are my one desire
I stand before you now
With trembling hands lifted high
Be glorified

I love to sing song of praise to my Lord and Father. Unfortunately, sometimes I find myself singing the words while not thinking about them. I’m planning how I’m going to get this or that done – and my focus is anywhere but on what my mouth is saying. During a recent worship service I was reminded of God’s power and how He can work through us if we just allow Him to. Someone brought up the creation and the fall. The person reminded the rest of us that when sin entered the world, the world became legally Satan’s. Because of this – God legally can’t touch the earth unless we invite him to through prayer. Wow – now THAT’S a true power. But how often – even in the simplest things – do I exhaust myself in my efforts before even remembering to pray? If we truly want God to be glorified in us we need to wake up – and give ourselves to him first - without reserve. I needed a wake-up call – this is real and the time is now. I’m striving to remember that there is so much beyond what I see and only God can make it turn out right – but I need to ask for Him to help. As I strive to do this – it is THEN that God truly can be glorified and I can bring my focus back to what’s important.

You Mean My Plan Didn't Work?

Someone once told me that things don't always work out like you plan. Being a complete organizer, perfectionist, and planner I laughed it off thinking "Maybe for some people, but you don't know me..." Huh. It kinda makes me chuckle to think of that now. See - God gave me a talent and a love of well-organized, thought-out things. That doesn't mean I can't be around disorganization - it means that my natural reaction is to clean it up, make it better. It's a great gift - it drives me to do my best. I didn't realize that this person was so right in a way I didn't even realize.
I've known since I was young that I didn't really want to be good in any one area (like a specialist), but rather I wanted to be very well-rounded - a "jane-of-all-trades," if you will. I wanted to go to an out-of-state four-year-college. Tada! I did! One more thing I was right in. I wanted to meet and room with the person who would be my best friend for the rest of my life. Enter Jess. We started e-mailing back and forth. Everything was perfect. We got to school and loved hanging out. But as we got to know each other we realized how completely different we were. The unthinkable thought entered my head - as great of friends as we are - I wasn't going to be able to have the same roommate all four years. I was horrified! My plan hadn't happened? What a new experience! What an unfathomable revelation. I couldn't believe I was letting myself think of going against my plans!
Jess is, to this day, one of my best friends - we just won't be rooming together anymore. My mentor, Alicia, told me that - "God brings people in and out of our lives our whole life." She said the constant changes in our lives are to remind us that there is only One constant. Because of that we should appreciate Him that much more. She's right. It may not be the idea we had in mind, but if we will just bear with Him - just trust Him - His plan is so much better than any plan we've worked through with our minds. We may not see it now - but that's ok - He doesn't ask us to see it - He asks us to trust Him. I can't control everything and not everything's going to go according to my plans... but you know what - I'm learning to be ok with that.

Human BEings

Have you ever noticed how fast our lives are? Ha! It’s hard not to realize it… We run around like crazy and don’t feel accomplished until we’ve complete at least 85 million things in one day.

Yesterday I was riding in the car with my friend Hannah. We were on the way to her house for the weekend (about a 200 mile drive). Do you realize that not even a hundred years ago this trip could have taken a week! We drove it in 2 ½ hours. Hannah and I talked about time and how it flies and how we try to cram it so full that we can’t possibly enjoy it. Hannah said something that struck me. It was simple, and yet, when you think about it has so much depth beyond its words alone. “God made us to be human BEings, not human DOings” she said. Think about that for a minute. God made us to enjoy the world he gave us. We find ourselves young, wishing to be grown up and then “grown up” wondering where all the time went. Time seems to go faster with each day. We use to live with time, work with it, and enjoy it. Now we try to beat time, race the clock, do the most. When did success become based on how much paperwork you got done that day? Look around – the papers are done, now what? Who’s there to enjoy the break with you? We try to plan our lives to the smallest detail. God says in Matthew 6:34 – “do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Enjoy the moment.

Today is Valentine’s Day (No- duh, Meagan! You say.) But give me a minute. Celebrate the day, but please don’t get caught up in to commercial holiday. Show your loved one that you care about them every day (You won’t have to worry about forgetting flowers!). Give up the work for a while to be with the ones you love or you’ll turn around to find no one there. A pastor of mine once said “Don’t let the emergencies of life crowd out the important things of life.”

I love the song “Don’t Blink” by Kenney Chesney. It reminds me of the value of the time we have. Enjoy your time and be a human being instead of a human doing. I think you’ll find it much more enjoyable. You have one life – love it and love in it – paperwork will still be there tomorrow.

God Bless!

Meagan

Falling into Safety

Ok, so I found out that I'm not so good at this blogging thing. I mean it's only been what about SIX WEEKS since I've made and entry! A lot has gone on in that time, good things and not so good things. There has been drama in the family, drama with friends, and drama with myself. In all honesty there were times when I wasn't sure I was going to make it through (I'm not being dramatic here, I promise!) My dad went through some interesting medical issues, keeping contact with friends created tension with distance, and I found myself confused and wondering where God was and if I was doing the right things (not that I was doing anything bad - just - directionally).

For the most part (except for being in and out of the hospital with my dad) I had a completely refreshing Christmas break. I came back to school with new focus and courage to do some things I had needed to do for a while, but wasn't doing (ie - just say "no"!).

School has been going well. I'm enjoying my classes (ok, except for one...) and I am refreshed and renewed in hope. What I wanted to make a point of in this blog section is that, through everything, God had never gone anywhere, even when I thought he felt distant. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't tell you all that has happened since my last blog - there's too much, but I am so thankful that even when it was overwhelming to me I had the best back up possible! God says in Matthew 10:28-31 that He sees everything - even a sparrow with a broken wing, and he will never give us more than we can bear (1Cor 10:13). I just wanted to publicly thank my Savior for all the wonderful things he has worked in my life just in the past month. So, thanks, God!

I hope you all are doing well and I have the best intentions of blogging more regularly.

In Him,

Meag